The Celibate Rifles - But Jacques, The Fish 7”EP

Bank holiday Monday here in the UK and I’m just home from a weeklong trip to Northern Ireland visiting family…apologies if I haven’t responded to your comments, normal service will resume eventually…righto let’s get this Aussie week under way

The antithesis of a sex pistol is a celibate rifle, but Australia’s Celibate Rifles are anything but the opposite of loud, snotty and fast. A fusion between Detroit-style straight-ahead hard rock and Ramones pop, steeped in Stooges and Radio Birdman milk, the Rifles began as a party-time Sydney band, racing through deliberately silly and simple Ramonesque lyrics (“What about the kids? Get a baby sitter…and some kitty litter”) with three fast/loud chords. But unlike the Ramones, the Rifles insert loud, sinewy guitar solos between the slash’n’burn verses and, on tracks like “24 Hours,” warped and warbly guitar effects. After a few years learning the trade at parties and school dances around Sydney's North Shore, The Celibate Rifles (one of a bunch of one-off party names that stuck) progressed to playing pubs and getting a record out - and what a record! But Jacques, The Fish? is just about the finest record to ever emerge from up that way. Four great songs, some hilarious lyrics, and a frustrating set of sleeve colour variations. Catchy power-chord progressions, tasteful lead breaks, and extremely clever lyrics set this debut four-track apart from most. “Kent’s Theme” integrates snippets of cigarette jingles with a sharp anti-smoking attack, while “Let’s Get Married” adopts a loose, good-humoured quality.

Ripped to MP3 @ 320kbps

Kicking off with Kent's Theme (They Don't Listen) we have one of the band's earliest songs, dating back to their original singer Ian Martin. A comment on smoking and conformity with the great refrain "doesn't listen to the doctors advising, all she hears is the advertising" leading into the lead break appropriating the Marlboro theme. As we mentioned before, local guitarists love themselves some thematic "references". Next up is possibly the highlight of the EP, Let's Get Married, a song that never fails to bring a smile to our faces, not just from the ferocious wah-wah solo and group-chanted chorus but mostly from the hilarious lyrics penned by vocalist Damien Lovelock.  We particularly like the line "you must be okay coz you went down on my brother". On 24 Hours the band kicks back a bit with a more personal lyric. On this side of the disc the band really start sounding more like Radio Birdman, particularly in the guitar licks and backing vocals. Tubular Greens is the band's first surf themed song, a connection they continued occasionally.